A watermelon?! B*tch, Please. I wore a plate of spaghetti

The above references one of my pop culture daydreams where Daniel LaRusso meets Frances "Baby" Houseman and they discuss their most embarrassing "Johnny" stories. She'll tell him of her first time meeting Johnny and "carrying a watermelon," while he'll tell her about how his "Johnny" made him wear a plate of spaghetti and once beat him up when he dressed up as a shower to hide from him at the Halloween dance.

For those not following me, I'm referencing Dirty Dancing and The Karate Kid. The ORIGINAL Karate Kid. The Karate Kid that had Johnny Lawrence aka Billy Zabka aka my favorite blonde jock of all time.

While I have not seen the very unnecessary remake of my favorite "Newark boy goes to California, gets beat up by some Valley guys and then catches a fly with chopsticks" movie, I feel entitled enough to say it's not a real "Karate Kid" if there is no Billy Zabka as "Johnny Lawrence".

The original Cobra Kai will never die in my heart. So to the new, wannabe Karate Kid movie, I say

"Get him a body bag. YEAAHHHHH!"

Pleasure Rating: You-are-the-best-around-no-one's-ever-gonna-keep-you-down-Courtasm!