I don't think you are ready for this jelly...

Something very life affirming happened to me the other day. I discovered that I have a teen sidekick. Someone that wants to help keep me up to date on all current teen pop culture phenomenons.

This may not seem like a big deal to many of your readers, but understanding that I have a real interest in teen films and media and just generally being up on what's down (yes, that lameness is intentional), this pretty much validated my entire existence.

Thanks to Sheeza Punk, I am now in the know about the newest fad, craze and school currency....Silly Bandz. No, this doesn't refer to *Nsync or Backstreet boys...but rather to the evolution of plastic and jelly jewelry.

In the early 80s we had our plastic charms. You know you had them....records, skates, toothpaste bottles, tennis rackets, ghosts, lipsticks and anything the mind could imagine. 

Then, it was all about jelly bracelets and how many you could stuff on your arm.

Slap bracelets kind of brought it to a standstill...after kids were cutting themselves due to some faulty designs.

These were the trends of my day, but now Silly Bandz rule the scene. Really, they are jelly bracelets...but they come in so many shapes other than circle.

There are letters, animals and my favorite, princess shapes!

                                                    

Oh yeah, these bad girls also glow in the dark. Consider yourself schooled.

Pleasure Rating:
Why-can't-I-throw-anything-away-today-but-managed-to-throw-away-all-of-my-cool-childhood-toys-and-now-have-to-buy-that-childhood-back-through-ebay-at-inflation?-Courtasm!

You can call me Ms. Barbie if you're nasty...

The pink background and bows may lead you to believe otherwise, but I'm a Barbie broad. The blonde hair, the outfits, the shoes and the accessories! Pearl rings, diamond rings, hair clips, curling irons and later on pets, career items and so much more. While I stopped buying Barbies many years ago...I did keep the Barbie head around to do her hair when I was stressed in my post grad years and I perhaps more than hinted that when I became engaged to Heesa Mister I would appreciate getting my own "Bride Barbie" and I guess when I graduated college my friends gave me "Graduation Barbie," hmmm I'm sensing a pattern.

Either way, I do get a high from walking through the gender stereotyped pink aisles at Toys R Us. I can't help it. Barbie could be whatever she wanted, whether it was an astronaut or Coca Cola soda girl. For someone who has commitment issues, those neverending possibilities were just way too tempting.

An now, that temptation has returned. Forget hinting to others, I'm about to plop down some hard cold cash. I almost squealed out loud, much to Heester's dismay, when I saw the most amazing, shining beacon on the shelf at my local Target. Apparently, Mattel is reissuing Barbies of the 80s. There she was...in new packaging with collecters pieces...the 1985 Peaches 'n' Cream Barbie. Her beautiful scalloped, shiny white top with peach taffeta bottom and matching wrap. The hair combs were there. For a minute I was 6 again. Yes, Ima's going to be 30 this year, hence this need for Barbies.

Anyway, after doing some frantic research I found out that last year they also reissued the 1986 Barbie and the Rockers doll. I can't even believe I missed this.

I now know why we need to work as adults. We need adult money so we can buy our favorite childhood toys at more than double their cost. Ring me up!

Oh yeah, they are also doing a Ladies of the 80s line. Cyndi Lauper? Yes, please!

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Pleasure Rating:
Get-me-an-80s-prom-dress-so-I-can-appropriately-toast-the-dolls-that-gave-me-so-much-pleasure.-No-not-those-dolls,-BARBIE-DOLLS!-Courtasm!

Malibu Broad-ie

Work can be overwhelming. Life can get demanding. There are times when even this broad just wants to turn out the lights, hide under the cover and let a wave of Sylvia Plath depression wash all over her. Fortunately for all of us, I always get the stove part wrong and end up eating some killer pizza skins and mozzarella sticks.

But I digress.

The moral of my little story? Screw depression and instead say hello to Malibu Rum and crazy Kokomo beats.

Never disappoints. Ever.

Pleasure Rating:

I-could-suck-the-shaft-on-this-bottle-all-day-long-and-still-lick-my-lips-for-more-this-really-is-the-sweet-nectar-of-the-Gods-Courtasm!

Happy Birthday, Nic Cage. Now Get In My Bed!

Oh, Nicolas Cage nee Coppola. While the recent years and movie choices have been interesting to say the least, you have been one of the most swoon-worthy actors of my time. Seriously. No one does angry, brooding and eccentric better than you.

You may have started out humbly as Brad's friend in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but you certainly graduated onto bigger and better roles.You sang your way into my heart as Charlie in Peggy Sue Got Married, were totally tripendicular in Valley Girl, and made me smile when you jumped out of a plane with a bunch of flying Elvi in Honeymoon in Vegas.

Glorious as they all are, it was your turn as Ronnie Cammareri in Moonstruck that resonated with me. For it was that role that taught me what love is and should be. It's not perfect and wrapped in a pretty red bow. No, it's messy. It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. And it's absolutely wonderful!

Pleasure Rating:
Get-out-the-dough-because-you-are-going-to-bake-some-bread-and-scream-about-how-you-aren't-a-monument-to-freakin'-justice-and-then-tell-me-to-get-in-your-bed-Courtasm!

Tender Years and Dark Sides: Eddie Lives?

It's pretty obvious that Eddie and the Cruisers are loosely based on Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band. Both are from New Jersey, both are fronted by brooding poets, both have kick-ass saxaphone players and both have lasting power. Sure, many will argue that only BRUUUUUCCCEEEE is king, but in the land of Courtasms, Eddie Wilson reigns supreme. Sure, Michael Pare didn't actually sing, but he sure looked good in those black shirts and jeans lipsynching to John Cafferty and the Brown Beaver Band. If you haven't seen it, give this movie a chance. It always satisfies and leaves you wanting to know more. Perhaps the sequel quenches that need for more, but I wouldn't know. For me, my tender years belong to the original Eddie and the Cruisers and the mystery that goes along with it...



Pleasure Rating:
Did-I-Just-See-What-I-Think-I-Just-Saw????-Courtasm!

Railroad Spikes and Dead Dolls. Much A-Dru About Nothing!

For years I was told Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a great show. I hedged because I enjoyed the Kristy Swanson movie and felt loyal to it. Well, that was pretty much stupid. LOGO marathoned Buffy this weekend and I caught a few episodes and now I'm fully infected. I blew the dust off my sister's copies of the entire series and it's been one Courtasm after another. Talk about a satisfying weekend! While there will be many mentions of how this series just brings glee into my life, I felt it fitting to start with the Courtasm that started it all....Drusilla and Spike. Yes, Buffy and Angel are breaking my heart...but Drusilla and Spike are picking up the pieces...

Drusilla: Do you love my insides, even the parts you can't see?

Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.

Pleasure Rating:
I-can't-stop-speaking-in-a-pouty-slow-british-accent-like-Drusilla-Courtasm!

Double the Corey, Double the fun!

There are some perks to hosting a NYE party, mainly gifts. Mainly the below gift. There is just something about welcoming in 2010 while screaming and moaning about forgetting the name of the Buggle's album* that contained the song "Video Killed the Radiostar"  that sets the perfect tone for leaving the Aughts... Plus, it's so shiny and colorful and let me yell at people when they could not identify the nickname of the movie character "Phil Dale" before the question was finished being read. You all know who Phil Dale is, right???????? Right??

*It was "The Age of Plastic"

Pleasure Rating:
How-do-you-not-know-who-Phil-Dale-is-right-out-of-the-box?-How-is-that-even-possible?-I-think-you-should-just-give-up-on-life-for-not-knowing-that.-80s-smack-talk-Courtasm!